The Wolf Within.
I like stuff.
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everyone likes to joke that Australian’s are hardcore and can survive anything but watch what happens to us if the temperature drops below 20 degrees

I’m fucking freezing

Example #1

For the benefit of any Americans reading this, we’re talking Celsius.

So 20 degrees C is about 68 degrees F but like… Australians are basically reptiles. There’s no other way of putting it

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Why I hate myself


Volume I

Pocket edition 

font size 7


to the first chapter

of the prologue

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does england exist to make every other country look stupid

all but one


yea, america can do it by itself 


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Dad:  Why the hell did you put a comma there?

Dad:  Do you even know what a participial phrase is?

Dad:  Omg. He's like my favorite character of all time.

Dad:  Who should I dress up as for the movie premier?

Dad:  Hey are you awak? I know it's late, but you read Animal Farm, right? Yeah. I need you to read this report. I can't tell if I am just super tired or if this is actual bullshit.

Dad:  Alesha wouldn't be able to spell 'definitely' right if wrote it down for her. She would fucking erase it and then write 'defiantly', because she doesn't care. I hate her.

Dad:  I need you to bake brownies. I lost a bet.

Dad:  Omg. You cannot ship me with Gilcher. You know I don't like tattoos and he's like twenty-five. And for Christ's sake, he teaches math.

Dad:  Omg. Gilcher said the funniest thing today.

Dad:  Mrs. Ashworth and I have decided to start a band. It'll be called Great Expectations.

Dad:  It's like you didn't read the fucking book.

Dad:  Okay. So this week you're reading this book I stole from Mrs. Ashworth's. It's like sixty pages long, but you'll love it.

Dad:  *puts books on my bed for me to read everyday and demands that I read them*

Dad:  My son doesn't like reading. I have not only failed him, but society. You aren't my son. Leave.

Dad:  Okay. So you're getting books for Christmas. All of you. I get discounts on them since I'm a teacher, and since I'm a teacher, it's all I can afford, so...

Dad:  Fucking standardized testing can go fuck itself in the ass.

Dad:  I have to teach for the required testing instead of what they really need to know.

Dad:  Fuck the government.

Dad:  Fuck the school board.

Dad:  Close the door.

Dad:  Charles Dickens was so fucking pretentious, and I hate him, but he also caused change, but he's such a Dick. Ha. DICKens.

Dad:  I love puns.

Dad:  People who say sarcasm is the lowest form of humor are assholes.

Dad:  Please shut up.

Dad:  Catching Fire was the worst book but the best movie and that feels weird.

Dad:  I wouldn't get so mad when you call me at school if you didn't change your ringtones to inappropriate rap music.

Dad:  I fucking hate Alesha. She asked what countries were apart of Austria-Hungary today and I almost told her to get out.

Dad:  You cannot visit my school in a dress that short. There are boys there.

Dad:  Barbra Parks is fucking Queen.

Dad:  I need you to make me a good, relaxing playlist for silent reading. I'm too lazy.

Dad:  If I have to watch two of my students grind on each other at one more dance, I will kill them both.

Dad:  They act like I care what they think.

Dad:  I hate homework.

Dad:  I have decided to become a politician.

Dad:  What's the one book with the guys and the one kills the other and the chick without a name who dies and the short angry man? Mouseman? Oh my fucking gosh. Of Mice and Men. I have failed.
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